In our first podcast for the Addictive Personality, Ora Nadrich and myself decided to talk about what some call the root of addiction, guilt and shame.
Between the two of us we bring forth a unique blend of methodologies such as Ora’s “Says Who?” method, the Transformational Thinking Process, the spiritual grounding of A Course in Miracles, and the practical use of the Twelve Steps.
With Ora’s method we learn to investigate the thoughts that run our life. A thought becomes a feeling, the feeling becomes a belief and the belief then fosters an action which creates our life. By asking ourselves; “What thought comes before the feeling of guilt?” We open the door to finding the truth. Typically, the thought is a lie. Often it isn’t even our own, a thought that we heard from someone else.
As an example, we discussed on the show how as a child I took it upon myself to feel that my dog’s death was my fault. As if by not taking her to school with me it was my responsibility that she got ran over.
The thought was, "I killed my dog." The feeling was guilt, and the belief was that I do not deserve a dog. Consequently, the action/behavior which resulted therein was me not allowing myself to have a dog. So the result I got for myself was me living my life whilst depriving myself of having the love of a pet. We seem to think that we are victims to our thoughts and most often do not realize that we are the master of our minds not the other way around. You can learn with these conversations how to take control or your thinking. This is not a one and done kind of process, it serves best as a lifestyle.
In the Twelve Steps we are taught to think the thought through which is pulling us to take that drink or do those drugs. ‘If I do have this drink where will it take me?’ Most addicts or alcoholics do not do this, there is typically the thought of the drink followed by the drink itself. Little if any thought of consequences. Also, in the Twelve Steps there are two steps that speak of a personal inventory, steps four and ten. Step four; “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Step ten; “Continued to take personal inventory of ourselves and promptly admitted when we were wrong.” Usually, what is inventoried are our actions. By only taking inventory of our actions, we tend to just falter from one self-destructive action to a more disguised behavior leading to the same self-destructive results.
A Course in Miracles, emphasizes the power of thought all throughout all three of its books. Statements like, “You are much too tolerant of mind wandering and are passively condoning your mind’s mis-creations.” Or. “All thinking creates on some level.” And then, “This is a course in mind training.” All of these lead us to seeing the power of our thoughts. When the addicted person learns to investigate the thoughts that drive their behavior, they can then take control of their lives. This is not an easy process. It is simple but not easy.
The way of the Twelve Steps, the principals of A Course in Miracles and Ora’s “Says Who?” method used as a way of life, will absolutely change one's life for the better.
Listen to the full podcast here.
Johnnie Calloway is certified as a Thought Coach by The Institute For Transformational Thinking. He is a long time student of The Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, A Course In Miracles, and is the author of Taming The Dragon, and Dragons To Butterflies. He is the host of Morph Into a New You podcast, and co-host of the Says Who? For Addiction Podcast.